This is a perfect curve marked with love.
Red flood over the skin is the vow of obssession.
You and I will never be apart. I am part of you.
The tatoo will be the witness.
Please hold your breath.
The needle will linger no more.
We shall bathe in blood.
2009年2月5日 星期四
2009年1月11日 星期日
Timer
Have you calculated how much time you waste on your life? Yes, I did it. Ten minutes in average waiting for the bus in the morning. Seven minutes waiting for the train in general. Another seven minutes on the transfering train. 10 minutes waiting for the coffee. Five minutes waiting for checking out. Twenty minutes waiting in the bank. Thirty minutes waiting in the post office. 5 minutes up to an hour waiting for a friend for a drink. 1 to 10 minutes waiting for the toilet. A week waiting for a man or a woman who will never call you again. Six months waiting for a job. 20 years waiting for retirement. The time waiting for death can be varied from 1 to 100 years (maybe more).
2009年1月3日 星期六
Urban Tale - Finding Monsieur Lacroix 1
I received a job offered from a very small job recruit company. This is my first offer since last year. When I received the call from the agent, I felt something very strange because I didn't remember I had ever applied for this job. My speciality is financial anaylsis. I graduated from Top 5 business school here. I have work in several international investment banks. I think myself as top in this industry but I still got sacked last year. Technically, I haven't been jobless for a year. It just happened last October. Now it's only January. Though, it sounds like ages ago to say "last year". After that, I tried to find a new job, but it seems I have run out of my luck. I can barely find any position from my specialty. Every company in this area is downsizing at this moment. I get desperate day after day. I felt I am going to be like this forever. Every time when I turned on the computer, I couldn't help log on my stock exchange software even though I didn't need to trace these numbers anymore. I still stared at the screen for several hours. I felt absolutely nothing inside me but I still did it everyday as a ritual to begin my day. I couldn't imagine a life without these changing numbers even though I didn't need them and they didn't need me, either. Some moments in the day, I felt I lost my consciousness. I couldn't remember what I was doing suddenly when I was in the middle of something because every minute seemed so similar to me. I think this was so-called "auto-pilot" moment. At that moment, your mind is actually absent, your habit governs. You can finish things without awaring of it. I got so used to it. I lived like this for awhile until I received this phone.
It is really hard to say how surprised I am since I believe I have lost quite a lot of sensual feelings. What I remembered is that I didn't remember this position at all from the company's name to the job's name. However, the job title sounded ok for me. They are going to offer me an accountant position to me. I have never done any job like accountant before. But hell, I told myself it's all about dealing with numbers and I will just take it. Quickly, I noted down every detail that I need to know including the address, on board date and my boss' name, Monsieur Lacroix, they said.
It took me awhile to find the place according to the address even though I checked google map before I went out. On the map, the place seemed quite detached from the street but the post code showed it is actually somewhere pretty close to central London. When I read the map, I noticed that, but I thought it was just some mistake a normal map might have.
After nearly an hour of searching and walking, I was convinced this place was not a mistake on the map. This is reality. It is really hard to believe such huge property besides Buckingham Palace does exist and this is where I am going to work. I told myself I think I need to find a way to get there if I have to go there five days a week.
It is really hard to say how surprised I am since I believe I have lost quite a lot of sensual feelings. What I remembered is that I didn't remember this position at all from the company's name to the job's name. However, the job title sounded ok for me. They are going to offer me an accountant position to me. I have never done any job like accountant before. But hell, I told myself it's all about dealing with numbers and I will just take it. Quickly, I noted down every detail that I need to know including the address, on board date and my boss' name, Monsieur Lacroix, they said.
It took me awhile to find the place according to the address even though I checked google map before I went out. On the map, the place seemed quite detached from the street but the post code showed it is actually somewhere pretty close to central London. When I read the map, I noticed that, but I thought it was just some mistake a normal map might have.
After nearly an hour of searching and walking, I was convinced this place was not a mistake on the map. This is reality. It is really hard to believe such huge property besides Buckingham Palace does exist and this is where I am going to work. I told myself I think I need to find a way to get there if I have to go there five days a week.
2009年1月2日 星期五
Urban Tale - New Year's Eve
Jimmy has been living on the street all his life. His father James Jr. lived on the street all his life and died on the street. His grand father James Senior lived on the street, not as long as his father and Jimmy, but he died on the street just like Jimmy's father. People might be curious about why a street wonder will have child. As far as we know, this is mystery. In fact, nobody cares.
This is a freezy New Year's Eve. Jimmy finally fights against all the party people and comes back to his secret place where he usually rests. This is a cozy corner. His father slept here. His grand father slept here, too. Jimmy folds his bed carefully. It is a deserted single bed he found on a backyard and he dragged it all across London with him. He folds out his sleeping bag. This is what he herited from his father. He is ready to embrace the new year with his calm sleep, not ecstasy of meaningless countdown for a hope of better year. Those are unpractical for Jimmy. Jimmy wants to sleep, NOW, just as what he used to be for the past 23 years.
Just about he falls into this hollow of dream, a bunch of young Asian people gathered around him. They look at Jimmy with curious eyes. One of them breaks the silence and starts talking. "Why are you sleeping here?" with his funny Chinese accents. For a professional street wonderer like Jimmy, he meets all different kinds of people. This person is apparently one of those he met before. He doesn't want to be too rude. Otherwise, people will think he is a racist. This is not what he likes. He decides to ignore his question. So he continues his sleep. These people are still around him. Jimmy hears a chitchat which is the language he doesn't understand. Later, another guy speaks again. He says, "Why don't you come to our place? It's warmer and better"
This offer sounds unusual for Jimmy. He gets up and looks at this guy with his astonishing eyes. This is ridiculous, Jimmy thinks. How come there is someone who invites a street wonderer to thier place. This is absolute against nature! This thought quickly flashes in his mind. However, after all, Jimmy is still young. Curiosity is always a valuable quality of young men. Now he feels curious about these people. He decides to go with them and see what might happen. Poor Jimmy, he probably never hears about how curiosity kills a cat.
There are seven of them including Jimmy. They lead him through narrow lanes, dark alleys. Finally they stop in front of an old victoria house situated at the end of the road which people call it, cul-de-sac. As soon as Jimmy enters the house, he finds there is nothing in this house. As empty as an empty street. Only the ceiling makes it look different to Jimmy.
One of them goes into a dark room. Later he brings a box of beers with him. People start passing around the beer. Jimmy is offered, too. Then there is a fire being set off. The room gets warmer.
They go approaching Jimmy. Finally Jimmy is around by them. They go hand in hand and start singing and dancing. The singing gets louder and louder. Each step gets harder and harder. Jimmy feels like experiencing an earthquake. A hand invites Jimmy to join them. Without hesitation, Jimmy joins them. This is his first dance ever since his life. They dance around the fire. They shout, laugh and run around the fire. Everyone's face is distorted by the flame. 10...9....8....7... Jimmy starts to get dizzy but he can't stop. 6...5...4....3...He dances, dances and dances until he steps on a beer can. 2....1...Then he slips, slips and slips until his head hit the floor. Happy New Year...Everyone is still dancing and shouting. Nobody cares about Jimmy. This is very normal, dying Jimmy thinks.
Jimmy wishes he dies on the street like his father and his grand father where it is at least a place he calls it home. This is new year's day. Jimmy didn't know he is actually born on new year's day, but now he definetely knows he dies on new year's day. But who will know except himself? Back to the corner where Jimmy is from, another street wonderer is moving his bed. Too bad, Jimmy wishes he could have a son. So he can pass down his bed to him.
This is a freezy New Year's Eve. Jimmy finally fights against all the party people and comes back to his secret place where he usually rests. This is a cozy corner. His father slept here. His grand father slept here, too. Jimmy folds his bed carefully. It is a deserted single bed he found on a backyard and he dragged it all across London with him. He folds out his sleeping bag. This is what he herited from his father. He is ready to embrace the new year with his calm sleep, not ecstasy of meaningless countdown for a hope of better year. Those are unpractical for Jimmy. Jimmy wants to sleep, NOW, just as what he used to be for the past 23 years.
Just about he falls into this hollow of dream, a bunch of young Asian people gathered around him. They look at Jimmy with curious eyes. One of them breaks the silence and starts talking. "Why are you sleeping here?" with his funny Chinese accents. For a professional street wonderer like Jimmy, he meets all different kinds of people. This person is apparently one of those he met before. He doesn't want to be too rude. Otherwise, people will think he is a racist. This is not what he likes. He decides to ignore his question. So he continues his sleep. These people are still around him. Jimmy hears a chitchat which is the language he doesn't understand. Later, another guy speaks again. He says, "Why don't you come to our place? It's warmer and better"
This offer sounds unusual for Jimmy. He gets up and looks at this guy with his astonishing eyes. This is ridiculous, Jimmy thinks. How come there is someone who invites a street wonderer to thier place. This is absolute against nature! This thought quickly flashes in his mind. However, after all, Jimmy is still young. Curiosity is always a valuable quality of young men. Now he feels curious about these people. He decides to go with them and see what might happen. Poor Jimmy, he probably never hears about how curiosity kills a cat.
There are seven of them including Jimmy. They lead him through narrow lanes, dark alleys. Finally they stop in front of an old victoria house situated at the end of the road which people call it, cul-de-sac. As soon as Jimmy enters the house, he finds there is nothing in this house. As empty as an empty street. Only the ceiling makes it look different to Jimmy.
One of them goes into a dark room. Later he brings a box of beers with him. People start passing around the beer. Jimmy is offered, too. Then there is a fire being set off. The room gets warmer.
They go approaching Jimmy. Finally Jimmy is around by them. They go hand in hand and start singing and dancing. The singing gets louder and louder. Each step gets harder and harder. Jimmy feels like experiencing an earthquake. A hand invites Jimmy to join them. Without hesitation, Jimmy joins them. This is his first dance ever since his life. They dance around the fire. They shout, laugh and run around the fire. Everyone's face is distorted by the flame. 10...9....8....7... Jimmy starts to get dizzy but he can't stop. 6...5...4....3...He dances, dances and dances until he steps on a beer can. 2....1...Then he slips, slips and slips until his head hit the floor. Happy New Year...Everyone is still dancing and shouting. Nobody cares about Jimmy. This is very normal, dying Jimmy thinks.
Jimmy wishes he dies on the street like his father and his grand father where it is at least a place he calls it home. This is new year's day. Jimmy didn't know he is actually born on new year's day, but now he definetely knows he dies on new year's day. But who will know except himself? Back to the corner where Jimmy is from, another street wonderer is moving his bed. Too bad, Jimmy wishes he could have a son. So he can pass down his bed to him.
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